These wounds

I knew we where over the minute another life mattered more than the life I had for you. You left us alone and the sadness I felt crushed us. The life you left behind haunts me now.

My sanity left and time couldn’t erase all the pain or heal the wounds. I tried so hard to cope with it all and even when you were with me, I had never felt more alone.

I was there for you, I heald your hand, I chased away all your fears and yet you left us to fend for ourselves. I knew you wanted to leave so I told you what hurt to say so you would go regardless of my feelings.

Months passed and it was excruciating to see you, and remember how my sanity and anger were compressed. I couldn’t even grieve my loss and there you stood trying to give me a letter.

I refused to get it and even sent it back to you. Remembering, it all now brings the feeling back. Opens the wounds and kills me softly.

I remember on the way back from a war zone laying in a cot listing to my ipod. I remember Evenecence playing My Imortal. I layed there and hating that I was constantly your punching bag. How many times you used me and yet I don’t get what for. What did you get out of it?

I remember how it took you many weeks and so many failed attempts to convince my best friend to introduce you to me. How you chased and continued to try and convince me. My instincts always told me to avoid you and I said no so many times.

Months later I gave in and then you began acting funny, you wouldn’t bring me to certain parts of the mall and then you stood me up for your graduation so I went anyway only to meet your actual girlfriend and learn I was the side chick.

I left you and even then you tried to convince me that it was all a lie and that you didn’t want her. You kept insisting and showed me wounds of what she had done to you.

Stupid me, I let you back in. You came only to dissappear when you went to Texas and left me in Georgia. I vowed to never speak to you again.

Three years had passed and I was sent to Texas only to see you again. You were the same arrogant SOB that wouldn’t take no for an answer and who’s reputation followed him. You were a player and you let your looks go to your head and everyone knew it.

With a child on the way, you didn’t tell me but you still preceeded to chase me. I said no many times and yet you wouldn’t leave me alone. A year of me despising you and still you would not leave me alone.

I finally gave in and risked getting into trouble for fratinizing. What for? You had a life, why did you need me. You could have just spared me. Then you leave her for me even though I didn’t know. You tell me later and then use me only to go back to her and your child.

Tell me why? Why waste your time? Why hurt me? What did I do to you? What was the purpose? Did you get some sick excitement out of hurting me?